It has taken me a long journey for me to get here, but I can say that I think I’ve made it. Reading and writing are not my specialties but when push comes to shove, I’m capable of doing so without breaking something. I like the things I read and I like the way I write but many things have happened throughout my life that has made me loose sight of how much I used to enjoy it.
I was born and semi raised in the states until I was seven. My parents only spoke Spanish and I only English. My sisters were in betweeners and they used to translate for both my parents and me. As far as memory serves it, I really can’t remember me talking anything but English until I came to live on the island. Months before we moved to PR, my mom bought me “La Cartilla Fonetica”, which is a little phonetics booklet which teaches young readers or beginners to read and pronounce words correctly in Spanish. Ma, me, mi, mo, mu, ma, me, mi, mo, mu… every single day from dusk till dawn. I got sick of it very quickly, but those who know my mother know that you just can’t do whatever you want so, like it or not, I was stuck with it. I learned Spanish fairly quickly and I am happy to say that my first year in PR I had a 3:80 GPA and an A in Spanish class.
I remember that it wasn’t until the 7th grade that I had to read my first Spanish novel and I was so happy about it that a read it in 3 hours. I was so proud because the teacher gave us two weeks to do it and I was the first one to say “I’m done- what now.” After that, I would ask the teacher for books to read and I would go to the library too. Also in the 7th grade I entered a poetry contest and won. I was amazed, given the fact that I had never before written a poem and to have my Spanish teacher consider it for the contest and all made me feel like I was able to do what many didn’t want to or couldn’t.
Everything went up hill after that. I kept writing poems and reading whatever I could find. I would constantly go to the library just to read, specially if I got bored. When I got into high school, I traded in the Spanish books for the English ones and never stopped since. My story changed when I got into College. I was obligated to read books which I wasn’t interested in and kind of lost the passion for it.
Even though I was an English Linguistics major I enjoyed to the fullest my Lit classes (I think it’s because I am opinionated and I tend to see things in a different light which tends to cause controversy). I read and read and read some more but after awhile I just felt that the strategies were getting old. I had to take a class and read 12 novels and write 15 page essays about them. I felt impotent and not being able to enjoy the process, finished killing the passion that was left in me. It caused me no spark and this is why I barely do it any more. I have been in College since 1999 (BA degree and now finishing my MA) and I am all read and written out. I feel like I do it because I have to not because I love to and that is so sad for me because I used to love it so much.
Every once in a while I catch myself writing in the dark at 3am just because an idea popped into my head and I just cant get rid of it and choose to put it into words instead. I have written poems and stories and created funny comic strips and even magazine articles ever since I was a young kid and now see that all of this has given me something that not many have- imagination, and for that I am thankful to all that has inspired me Now, I live my life through my 12 year old daughter’s eyes which, by her own free will writes poems, stories and plays. She is constantly reading and writing and she reminds me so much of me when I was her age. I hope she doesn’t loose the spark as I did, for reading and writing should be pleasureful and not bombarded with pain.
